What Do You Want to Be When You Die?
By Jamie Sue Austin, In Repose
When I was little I wanted to grow up to be a butterfly. Decades later, I have not achieved lepodetra status. In life, you can’t always be what you want to be. But, death is another story altogether. Today there are more options for body disposal than ever before. You can be buried, cremated, turned into a diamond or made into plant food. The options are endless. So, what do you want to be when you die?
Better Burial Options
Does the embalming process freak you out? A green or natural burial might be your style. A green burial will let you get in touch with Mother Nature like never before. Biodegradable casket, shroud, blanket or burlap sack, no concrete vault, and no embalming fluid make this the perfect eco-friendly option for the man who has recycled everything. You can choose from a variety of indigenous plant species to mark your final resting place. The plant will leach nutrients from your remains as it grows, making you a permanent fixture in the landscape. Who says you can’t grow up to be a tree?
Then of course there are those who want a traditional burial, but not a traditional coffin. If you are looking for a coffin with a little flair there are a host of entertaining options guaranteed to make you the talk of the town. Perhaps you would like to be buried in a giant guitar? Not your style? What about a colossal seed pod, a mammoth egg, or a humongous ballet shoe? Crazy Coffins is happy to help. They are one of many companies specializing in custom caskets. If you can’t be it, then get buried in it.
Just because you’re dead and buried doesn’t mean you can’t have fun! Invite some friends over to watch your gradual decomposition. SeeMeRot.com allows viewers to watch a live coffin cam from the comfort and privacy of their homes. But don’t expect this show to replace your normal Friday night line up: embalmed bodies can take years to show signs of decomposition.
Fun with Cremation
Ashes to ashes… or so they say. But what if you wanted your ashes to become a birdbath, a garden stepping stone, a statue, or a bench? No problem! Grotto is one of many companies that will combine your ashes with cement to create a lasting memorial to you-from you.
Spending eternity in the family garden as a planter is one option. Being part of a living coral reef system is another. If you ever wanted to live underwater then here’s your chance! Eternal Reefs combine cremains with environmentally safe concrete to create artificial reef formations. These reef formations provide a home for all sorts of colorful marine life and last around 500 years.
Don’t want to stick around that long? Want your ashes scattered? Do in style. The Eternal Ascent Society will send your ashes on one last flight in a helium balloon. The balloon bursts once it reaches high altitudes, scattering your ashes among the clouds. If you need a scattering with more dramatic flare consider combining your ashes with gun powder to create a beautiful fireworks display. If you don’t think your family would be comfortable handling explosives after your demise, then contact AngelsFlight and they’ll do all the work for you.
If you have a specific destination in mind for your dusty debris, then consider enlisting the help of the International Scattering Society. They will help your family get your ashes to their final destination. They have a wide selection of beautiful earthly destinations to choose from. For scattering beyond the stratosphere you need a rocket. Luckily, Celetis, the company that beamed up Scotty’s ashes to the stars, has what you need. Don’t just settle for any post-cremation memorial spaceflight company, choose the best.
There are options for everyone. If you are an artistic type you might want to consider having your ashes mixed into oil paints and used in a portrait of yourself. It’s a bit Dorian Gray for my taste, but still a fantastic option. The glamorous can have their ashes heated and compressed into a diamond. If you are glamorous, and on a budget, your ashes can be turned into a large colored crystal. If your friends think you are full of “it” then they can have your ashes put to good use as plant fertilizer. Personally, I’m a stationary fanatic. I can see no better use for my remains than to be turned into a box of pencils.
Death creeps up on all of us eventually. It isn’t a popular subject, but everyone has to face the same decisions regarding their remains. Instead of leaving the burden of interpreting your final wishes to family and friends it is best to record your desires now. Explore all the options that are available to you and choose the one that best expresses you as an individual. After all, once you’re dead, you can be anything you want.